Breastfeeding Twins, Part II

My boys are 6 months old now (5 months adjusted) and they are getting only breast milk, and now some solids. When we first came home from the hospital, we were using a nipple shield and DH was giving the boys one night feeding by himself. When one would wake, we woke the other one too – a sanity saving technique that saved us in terms of sleep. It allowed each of us to get at least a three-hour stretch of sleep at night. Since neither of our boys ever did the wake-every-hour thing that some newborns do, we actually slept better than some parents of singletons, and I certainly slept more than a lot of nursing moms, since I never did nights by myself. Then again, our boys were mighty fussy, and N had colic, so when not sleeping we were working pretty hard all day long.

When the boys were about six weeks old, we discovered that they’d go to sleep on DH’s chest and sleep for 4 hours. DH loved it, and so that was our strategy for as long as it worked- until they were about 3 months old. DH would go to sleep on the floor with both boys on his chest, and when they woke, he’d feed them and bring them to the co-sleeper next to us. I’d take the next 2 or three feedings, and then DH would be up with them while I slept a little longer. All this worked because DH doesn’t start working until about 2 (he teaches music) so we could make the “night” last as long a necessary. When the chest sleeping thing got too hard, we briefly had them in the bed with us, but I had a had time sleeping that way, and we discovered that they actually slept better in the crib.  At about 4 months, they were down to one night feeding, and O occasionally slept as long as 9 hours.  I mention all this sleep stuff because getting enough sleep made it possible to both produce enough milk and to deal with the contacnt breastfeeding on an emotional level. With twins or more, you don't get that "break" when they sleep during the day in the same way that you do with one. They rarely slept at the same time so I was just putting one baby down or feeding one pretty much all day long. I could handle that, knowing I would get a few hours of sleep garanteeed.

We never have been able to wean off the nipple shield. While I am sometimes sad about this, I am pretty much at peace with it by now. I probably should have been more aggressive about it much earlier, but there was a part of me that was just too happy to be breastfeeding them at all. I lacked motivation in making yet another difficult transition. Other than their messiness, I don’t really mind now. A woman’s nipples are designed to start breastfeeding one baby, and a newborn at that. They are not designed to suddenly take the friction of several-month-old twins all at once, and that’s what would have to happen now. No thanks. So the “preemie pasties” are here to stay as long as we have a breastfeeding relationship.

I am lucky enough to have plenty of milk even thought hey take a fair bit of pumped milk. I mention this because not every woman could get away with that, from what I’ve read- so our way of doing things is not necessarily possible for every twin mom who wants to bf. I have a lot of frozen milk, and I rotate that so I’ll always have a supply. I know lots of moms HATE pumping, or even say they never figured it out. I have to say that while I don’t exactly enjoy it, it is possible to feel ok about it. In the very beginning, it was often my only 10 minutes to myself during the day. Desperate measures….

For the first couple of months, I sometimes really grieved over the fact that I had these 2 wonderful babies at the same time. I so wanted to just drink them in, to need to do nothing more than to attend to this one tiny being. But right next to him was his brother, not getting his needs met quickly enough. Tandem breastfeeding (meaning both at the same time) on the giant nursing pillow is a wonderful convenience, and necessary when they feed all the time, but for me it sorely lacked the intimacy and bonding experience of breastfeeding , or even bottle-feeding just one. Thankfully, this has changed. They’re just so much easier now, and even though I think it takes longer with twins, I feel very bonded with them individually. I only tandem feed once a day, and the rest of the time I do my best to really connect with just the baby I’m feeding. While I once had doubts of making it to my original 6-month goal, I am already mourning the fact that these days will soon pass. There are now times when they have to many interesting things to do besides nurse. I look down at N or O’s downy heads and trace their cheeks with my finger, and think “I will never meet their needs quite this completely again. Thank you God for allowing me this. It was worth every single thing I went through to get here.”

Comments

[Lilian]

Beeeautiful post!! I'm so thrilled that breastfeeding worked for you and your boys! I am passionate about breastfeeding, and tomorrow I'll share some of my breatfeeding story in my blog.

Your last paragraph is quite moving, I always thought having twins and multiples was though, but I hadn't thought of it from this angle - not being able to enjoy each of them fully initially. I'm glad that later it got better. It's not too different from having one after the other, in the end. I think about this all the time - my first one didn't get to breastfeed so often after he was 18 months and I got pregnant, and as my 22 month old nurses a lot still (and during the night) I feel sad for my oldest. Of course I shouldn't be because I nursed once a day through the pregnancy and nursed boeth boys (more often to the oldest on the beginning but then down to once a day soon) until a few weeks ago (IU know, he was 4 and still wanted his morning fix - I joke it was his morning "coffee" but I kept saying no and now I guess we're finally done...