back to work, mama

I was very, very lucky, that I didn't lose my job when I was pregnant. I used up my entire FMLA* leave on bed rest, and could have been fired before I even gave birth. Not one day of my leave, either before or after the birth, was paid, save for a few sick days I'd saved up. I was able to take an "extended leave of absence" thanks mostly to some creative advocacy on the part of my boss, and went back when my babies were 5.5 months old. J took a couple of months off too. We used up a good chunk of our savings. Unlike a good chunk of Americans, we had savings to use up.

My SIL's are both pregnant. This is wonderful news, both babies were planned, and both babies will have excellent parents. Both of my SIL's have to go back to work within about 6 weeks, assuming everything goes well, and that they can work up until their due dates, more or less. If anything goes wrong, they may have to go back to work (at 32 and 40 hours per week, respectively) even earlier. One SIL will get no paid leave and the other gets 6 weeks but has to use it all at once and go straight back to 40 hours.

I am keeping my mouth firmly clamped about this, because I know 2 things.

1. they don't have much of a choice and deserve all the loving support they can get.
2. they have no idea just how hard going back to work at 6 weeks postpartum might be.

I hope it isn't. I hope they have uncomplicated vaginal births, and easy babies with no reflux or colic and no NICU time or complications. I hope that breastfeeding goes smoothly from the start, that they have no postpartum blues or depression, and that their spouses turn out to be loving, capable partners in parenting. I know I may be projecting my own experience onto theirs, and that they aren't having twins or likely to be recovering from bedrest.

I also know that they'll just be starting to get the hang of all kinds of motherly things. Breastfeeding. Sharing the work. Not bleeding, or leaking milk all over the place. Getting sleep for longer than a couple of hours at a time. A massive identity shift. Falling deeply in love with their babies. Leaving the house.   

To me, going back to work full-time 6 weeks post-partum sounds like trying to run a marathon 6 weeks after being hit by a bus. A very sweet, very beautiful, baffling, exhausting bus. And I just don't think it should have to be so hard for America's parents.

I quote:

"the U.S. is one of only five countries out of 173 in the survey that does not
guarantee some form of paid maternity leave; the others are Lesotho, Liberia,
Swaziland and Papua New Guinea."

Ye-f*cking-gads that's pathetic. The rest of the article is here.

We were all once children. Most all of us are or will be parents. Why can't we share the load? Why can't U.S. corporations be required to do what corporations in the whole rest of the Western world are expected to do? Why can't we voice our collective displeasure about this issue and demand that U.S. families benefit from a little more security and a better start? Well we can. Actually, we need to do it right now.

The FMLA is currently up for review, which means it could be reduced, expanded (to
include paid leave) or left as it is. If you have comments, you can submit them
here until February 16, 2007.

Let's finally fix this.
________________________________________________

More information can also be found at Moms Rising. Thank you to Mommy Off the Record for the heads up.

*Family Medical Leave Act

Comments

[T with Honey]

It really bugs me when employers try to push a woman to go back to work after giving birth sooner than they have to! Please, pass it on to your SILs that FMLA states:
"an eligible employee shall be entitled to a total of 12 workweeks of leave during any 12-month period"
This means that as long as they are OK financially to potentially go unpaid for 12 weeks after giving birth that is how long their jobs will be protected. Not 6 weeks, but 12. I had a normal pregnancy, normal delivery and got to stay home with my new baby for 12 weeks before having to return to work. Granted even with her being almost 3 months old it was still VERY difficult to go back to work full time. And it pretty much killed the success we had with breastfeeding.

[Melissa @ Organized Chaos]

I still can't believe the US government has not got their act together when it comes to maternity leave. I'm Canadian but was living in the US when our kids were born. Because I was working for a Canadian company at the time (tele-commuting) and therefore paying Canadian taxes, I qualified for the Canadian 50 week paid maternity leave both times. (I think this one of the rare things that Canada does better than the US) I could not believe all of the moms I was meeting who did not have any paid leave at all. It's horrible!! Something has got to be done about this!!

[Melissa @ Organized Chaos]

I still can't believe the US government has not got their act together when it comes to maternity leave. I'm Canadian but was living in the US when our kids were born. Because I was working for a Canadian company at the time (tele-commuting) and therefore paying Canadian taxes, I qualified for the Canadian 50 week paid maternity leave both times. (I think this one of the rare things that Canada does better than the US) I could not believe all of the moms I was meeting who did not have any paid leave at all. It's horrible!! Something has got to be done about this!!

[Mirre]

Definitely ridiculous and even cruel to go back to work so soon after giving birth. Maternity leave is 16 weeks here in The Netherlands and personally I think that should even be extended!

[Mad Hatter]

Another Canadian here. When I think about the situation in the states I am furious. It really is like hearing about the 3rd world.

[Isabel]

Eeh gad. I'm a Canadian and it always freaks me right out when I hear about American women having to return to work after 6 weeks. I just can't imagine what I would have done with my twins. At 6 weeks, I was finally just able to walk and carry my babies without pain after my c-section. You know, so many people, mostly Americans, really do believe that there is very little difference between Canadians and Americans (we Canadians often have a rather large chip on our shoulder about this lack of identity). But man oh man, when it comes to kids and healthcare in general, there's a huge difference that makes or breaks qualitly of life for me. (Sadly, some of these differences are disappearing). We are legally allowed a YEAR off with the guarantee that our jobs will be there when we get back. That year is financed by employment insurance (not huge, but liveable). Yes, I pay a whack of taxes, but it seems worth it to me. Our employer can then choose to top that off for a portion of that year or the whole year (I was topped up to 85% of my salary for the first 6 months of mat leave).

It's just so awful and I don't understand why Americans don't rise up against these sorts of conditions. I know it's not that easy, but I really just don't understand...

[lagiulia]

Thanks for the info and links. Now I remember why I decided not to move to Swaziland. Too bad it's no better here, though.
Hope all is well with you and yours.

[bubandpie]

It is criminal. That's all.

[Lisa]

Yes, thanks for posting this. I had not known that the FMLA was up for review.

Sometimes, I think the best thing that happened to me was that I lost my job while pg. (It was unrelated to my pg, they did not know yet.) But if I had stayed, I probably would have lost it anyway, and the stress of that would have been unbearable. I had a month of bedrest, and a pre-birth surgery on my eye. So I would have had to go back to work using FMLA when my (preemie) kids were around 4 or 5 weeks old. I can't possibly imagine. My kids weren't even able to eat right yet. (Not to mention, I still had vision problems and another surgery at 3 months post partum.) It would have all been unpaid and I would have been a mess.

I think part of the problem in the U.S. is that we are so sheltered by the preponderance of American culture that we really don't realize how it is expected for mothers to get more support in other countries. I don't think the average working mom realized that in most countries, women get several months or more of paid leave and child care support. I also think there is a great fear of losing your job here so you try to be more competive by not needing anything as far as benifits go.

And Jessica, I love this sentence so I must repeat it: "It's really time the US starts to invest some of the vast aounts of money they are spending on security on its own people, and not killing others."

[Jessica]

This is so true. I'm so fortunate to be living in Norway right now, where although not perfect, it's like 100 times better than the benefits we would have gotten in the US. Unfortuately, because I was living and working in the US up until 6 months into my last pregnancy, I have been unable to take part in the amazing maternity leave policy they have here. Additionally, the paternity leave they have is dependent upon the mother working- ie since I'm not getting maternity pay, neither will my husband get paternity pay/ leave. It seems being a SAHM is not very common and benefits are geared toward working parents.

But, but we constantly comment about what would we have done if we were still living in the US right now, with a young baby and two more on the way. If I had gone back to work there my entire salary would not have covered the cost of daycare for three babies and the huge hike in health insurance. And my maternity leave? would have been whatever I could scrap together from sick time and vacation time- neither exactly plentiful. So... my "choice" would have been not to work.

It's really time the US starts to invest some of the vast aounts of money they are spending on security on its own people, and not killing others.

[Gretchen]

Thank you for posting about this, I hadn't heard about it being open for comments, or even that it was up for review. I put my 2cents in, I hope it makes a difference.

I'm very aware that I was lucky, I had enough leave to have 5 months of paid time off, and at that I had to go back to work when she was 9 wks old... I have heard of others who lost jobs for lack of time, or had to go back at 6 wks etc.

[Emmie (Better Make It A Double)]

Louann:
Actually, it sounds like the U.S is worse. Not one day of our leave has to be paid (not one dime of it), and many smaller companies don't even have to allow a leave. They can simply let you go if you have a baby, or require something draconian like coming back after 2 weeks.

[Emmie (Better Make It A Double)]

Louann:
Actually, it sounds like the U.S is worse. Not one day of our leave has to be paid (not one dime of it), and many smaller companies don't even have to allow a leave. They can simply let you go if you have a baby, or require something draconian like coming back after 2 weeks.

[louann]

That was very interesting information. Here in the Philippines, I think our condition is worse. A mother is granted a 60-day unpaid leave if she delivers normal and a 78-day levae if she delivers via c-section. The only compensation we get is from our social security, the amount depends on the amount of monthly contribution you are able to give based on your income earned for every month. It sucks. I was back to work when my baby was only 2 months. It's really sad.

[luolin]

I am trying to work out something with my boss right now, so that I can work at home until the kid is 7months instead of 2 1/2 months old-ie not teach fall semester. I left one meeting thinking "what kind of princess do I think I am that I really want to be paid without having to work, even from home" (I know taking care of a baby is work, but it is not in my paid job description), but then I thought "maybe I don't want to be a princess, I just want to be Swedish".

It drives me crazy that the FMLA is in danger of being reduced, because apparently unpaid leave is too much of a sacrifice for American employers.

[snickollet]

Thank you, Emmie. I am going to go comment on the FMLA review right now.

The US has quite a few things to be embarrassed by right now (in my humble opinion), but the way parents are treated in the workplace is one of the most shameful.

[Andrea]

I really can't imagine.

If I'd had to go back six weeks postpartum--Frances would have been a newborn. She was born almost six weeks early. I couldn't have found a daycare, not for a tiny preemie girl with growth and feeding issues and reflux, she wouldn't take bottles. I'd have had to quit.

Which is a great policy if what you're really after is the 1950s nuclear family.

[Suz]

Thank you so much for posting about this; I was one of the lucky ones. I was able to work on bedrest (which was not ideal but had to be done to save my maternity leave) and then was on leave for three months. I needed EVERY SINGLE second of it. Friends of mine who worked for smaller companies who got to duck the FMLA provisions for larger companies, got six weeks, no more, no less.