weather

The morning started with me leaning over the toilet, still in my nightgown, my arm reaching down into the bowl, up to my elbow in the thankfully clean toilet water. I was desperately trying to retrieve some fingernail clippers that had fallen in, trying to grab a tip of them before they slipped in further and forever clogged the plumbing. In desperation, I finally threaded an Ethernet cable down the toilet until the hooked tip caught the clippers and pulled them up. It was quite possible the weirdest on-the-fly solution I’ve come up with in a long while, but it worked.

Then, at our Early Childhood class, while the parents were in the other room, O earned himself a time-out from the teacher for being uncooperative – a bit of a trend he’s had with authority figures lately, always testing limits with a smile. Nice way to end the year. A good part of the parents’ conversation was all about new (and highly unlikely) ways we hadn’t thought our kids could die, which, sorry, but I find that unhelpful at best.

I got to work, covered the front desk for a bit so everyone else could eat lunch, and was treated to a distantly heard earful from three of my co-workers about those awful people who spend all that money on infertility treatments when there are starving children in the world. I learned a lot. Did you know:

• That it is so unnatural, and those kids can be really deformed and shit
• That there are waiting children just waiting to be dropped off at my home (and that they wouldn’t be starving if not for people like me)
• That the health care crisis is because of all those test-tube babies (and shit)
• That you need to accept your destiny, and that not everyone is meant to be parents
• That lots of the time you end up with septuplets (also and shit)

And somehow, I’m home now and sitting here perfectly OK with how my day went. Maybe it’s the fact that I did eventually get the damned fingernail clipper out of the toilet, and the relief was good for something. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s probably OK that O learns to cooperate from other people, because I don’t really want to do that alone. Maybe it’s the fact that the thought of me and my family being responsible for the health care crisis, coming from a bunch of smokers and/or morbidly obese women who obviously don’t know their ass from their elbow on this issue, is at least as funny as it is offensive.

I think, oddly, that it might be the weather that’s sparking a bit of extra resilience within me this week. We’ve had a lot of heavy wind, thunderstorms, and even some exciting hail and rainbows. This morning was that “cabin weather” I love so much – dark clouds with lots of blue sky between them, bright sun followed by dimming clouds, gusty wind high in the trees, raindrops through sunshine on only one side of the street. I cannot help but love this particular Minn*esota weather  even as I feel for those who were affected by the worst of it today. It feels exhilarating and freeing, making me feel alive deep in my bones. The boys seem to like the weather too, running around in their boots and singing “It’s raining, it’s pouring”, watching the lighting and counting for the thunder.

After the rain, I walk the garden, pick up small fallen branches, munch on parsley, see the growth that came from a deep drink of rain, and the dumb annoyances of the day roll off of me. I go back in and hug my kids, make dinner, get a shoulder rub from J, and can’t stop smiling, even on a day that starts out elbow deep in toilet water.

Comments

[Stacie (The Twinkies)]

Wow. Your sense of humor when faced with all the cluelessness (and shit) is impressive.

[Lisa]

Oh, I hate all that IF talk that is so full of misconception. When they do the line about following your destiny and not meant to be parents, I always want to say, yeah, and I guess when you get cancer you shouldn't get treatment because you should just follow your destiny. Some people weren't meant to live.

It is interesting how many people change their tune when it is them who has IF issues.

(And no one said that only IF people needed to be the ones to take ALL THOSE babies that need to be adopted.)

Anyway, glad you didn't let it get you down.

[Fern]

GAK! Your coworkers sound horrid! I'm glad you didn't take it personally. But ew.

[Courtney]

Your coworkers are... odd? More than a little clueless? I'm sorry. You handled it all very gracefully. I hope your weekend was an improvement over its rocky beginning!