three year olds

Three year olds are extremely emotional, moody, and demanding. They can be clingy, saucy, and defiant. As our pediatrician gently pointed out at our three year appointment, anyone who thinks that this all ends with the “Terrible Twos” has another thing coming.  She put it this way: three-year-olds are smarter two-year-olds with a year of experience. And I love this age best of all so far.  

I don’t love it every day, and certainly not every hour, but oh, there are so many good things about this age despite the challenges. I can’t remember ever being so exhausted by their demands and also completely in love with my boys at the same time. Maybe when they were babies, but I think I love interacting with preschoolers even more than I love spending time with babies. Every parent seems to have a stage that they like especially well, and I think this is mine, at least so far. I love the conversations we have, about how things work, places we’ve gone, what they’ll be able to do when they get older, what my life was like when I was a little girl, and how our extended family fits together. I love the sweet, almost shy way they share their affections, with words to back up their devotion. We are still so physically connected – so constantly in touch with each other, more so, in fact, than when they were two. While the clinginess can be overwhelming at times, I mostly love their cuddliness. There are worse things than to be completely adored by two sweet little boys, to have long, sometimes sticky arms always reaching for you.

I love the fact that the books we read now have plots, that they love funny poems (and try to make up their own), and jokes. I love reading a story after naptime, the three of us snuggled under a blanket all in a row—my lap is too small for two boys now—a warm boy on either side of me, leaning against me with my arm around him and helping finish the sentences of the story. I love their enthusiasm for music, mostly children’s folk songs with daddy and hymns with me, many of which are requested by name. I love being privy to their intense and loving relationship—watching the two of them play “storekeeper” or “sailing to America” or any of the many elaborate games they play, saying “I love you, brother” at bedtime. Watching them negotiate with each other, and being able to just wait a moment longer to work things out between them. Far more often than not, they do, using the skills we’ve taught them. They lose their tempers with each other on occasion, getting too bossy or rough, but their motivation is overwhelmingly just to be together, to play in relative harmony. At mealtimes, in the car, or just sitting together, we often talk about important things, about God, the world we live in, what we can do to make it a better place for everyone, what it is to be a friend.  Most of the time, they initiate the conversation. They are starting to show real empathy, for me, for each other, for crying kids at the park.

They amaze me all the time right now – that they know so much, are learning so fast, can do so many things. They climb like monkeys over the biggest playground equipment, run full-stop, somersault, hop, leap, and they jump off anything they ca, landing on both feet, fists clenched in concentration. They are so proud of themselves when they succeed and get so much pleasure out of simple things – watching a tree being cut down, a tractor sweeping the beach, an anthill, a bumblebee, a book full of pictures of sea creatures, a couple of laundry bins and a few feet of rope. No Disneyworld could be better than any of these things.

When we’re not having a day that completely overwhelms all of the above, filled with tears and fits and general crabbiness (and these days do happen), I love being with my three year olds better than anything. Lately it just feels like it’s going so fast, like they’ve grown overnight. I confess that most of the time, I haven’t felt like I wanted to stop time, preserve the stage they’re in. I’ve loved them all along, loved things about all the ages and stages, but I’ve also been pretty excited about the prospect of being able to ditch the diapers, get past the tantrum stage, have a real conversation, be able to run errands more easily, finish a sentence with another adult, and get a break now and then through preschool or school. But right now, I do feel that way. I sit on the couch with the two of them wriggling around me, and I just want to stay like this, just like this, for just a little longer.

 

Comments

[Sandy]

Love the category this post is in. :)

I love reading the story of your family unfolding. The techniques you use to help shape your sons. How you so thoughtfully work to turn your ideals and principles into reality. Funny stories about raising three-year-old twins. Thanks again for sharing these stories with us.

[cat]

Love your post. I must agree that 3 years is such a great (although challenging) age.